Loving you
by Mojjochan
Summary: Draco loves Harry, but has problems coming to terms with his feelings. What will he do with them? And the fact that Prof. Snape is harassing him doesn't help.
1. Chapter: Pain

It's the first one I'm publishing here... and it's only a short taste. I have this problem with writing entire stories, I write parts that connect but don't connect at the same time... so please be patient with me!

It's Draco/Harry

Though there is also some Draco/Snape

_"Internal dialogue/thoughts"_

"Normal talking"

* * *

Part 1: Pain

_I never thought I'd feel this way: Feeling weak at the sight or sound of that person, my heart racing, thundering inside my chest. I feel frustrated when I think of the fact that I'm not the one occupying that persons every thought. I feel irritated every time that person talks to someone else, no matter who it is. I know it's bad to think this way, and I know I should stop. But my heart wont let me erase that person form my mind. I feel like I'm not in control, and that I'm falling. If only I could stop this! If only I could not think about that person!_

Keeping the diary encoded like this: Not mentioning names, using codes and misleading words that only made sense to him. He made sure that in the unlikely event that someone might find it, they wouldn't be able to get any useful information. Draco Malfoy sighed heavily as he pushed the diary away. He got up and walked to the bed, where he lay down shortly before getting up again feeling restless. It was after hours and no one would be out of bed now.

He walked briskly towards the showers. He flung a towel he'd snagged on the way over the door of the shower cabinet, he stripped off his clothes before going into the stall. The water felt pleasant against his skin. He bowed his head against the water, letting his hair get wet.

He leaned has arms against the wall, his head hanging. He sighed again before letting his mind wander. His thoughts made their way to that person. He gritted his teeth in defiance of himself. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest, and heat was spreading throughout his entire body. In his mind recalling stolen glances, times when he'd subtly sneak a whiff of that person. Bringing to mind that persons voice and subtle figure. The times their eyes had met.

He felt the blood rush to his diaphragm. Moving his hands to his face, he moaned as he let his fingers gently slide from his lips, down his neck to his chest where he gently began to massage his nipples. Draco groaned as he imagined that person touching him, whispering in his ear.

The right hand, continuing down to his now pulsating male member: As he touched it he gasped for breath and shuddered, his cock pulsing harder in his hand. While his right hand now sliding up and down his shaft he let his left hand be smeared by the juices that were flowing from the tip. His jerked when his fingers made contact with the head.

"_AH! Hah-hah-hah…_

He shakily led his left hand with its' moist fingers to his ass where he prodded the anus. Ever so genteelly he rubbed and pushed until he could get one finger in, he jerked slightly before being able to put in the second finger.

"_Ha… aaah!"_

He continued to rub his hard cock while he let his fingers thrust and rub inside his ass. More blood now rushed to his manhood, so he pulled back the foreskin and let his thumb slide over it before massaging his sack.

"_Ngh! … nnf… nnn.. ah! Ahhnn.."_

He moaned, feeling the heat in his entire body thrash like wildfire. He stroked his manhood more and with his fingers moving in his rear. He could feel the climax coming. He stroked more diligently and rubbed the head more until his entire body jerked and his mind went blank, spraying his milk over the wall.

He slumped to his knees and panted as if he'd run a mile. He was disgusted with himself; Reaching climax by such means! He needed to control himself. Draco felt the tears and whispered angrily in a low voice—

"Why does it have to be _him_?"

* * *

Thank you for reading. I don't really know where I really want to go with this. But it's some more smex scenes and stuff. And I'm a sucker for happy endings. So~ please review and I'll see if I feel inspiered to write more. ^^


	2. Chapter: Lust

Part 2: Lust

The dungeon air was heavy and damp, the stonewalls cold even through his cloak where he was pressed up against the wall. His intentions obvious, Snape leaned in closer. Draco could hear his heavy panting and see the red tint in his professor's face.

"Professor, please." Draco begged feebly. Snape gave the plead little notice as he unbuttoned Draco's shirt, sliding a hand inside to touch the young and pale skin. He said nothing as he let his fingers dance across Draco's bare flesh: Moving from his chest and up his neck towards his face.

Placing his left hand under Draco's chin, he tilted the boys face upward. Draco jerked his head to the side and glared at the wall. He couldn't resist him. Who knows what could happen if he did? At least Snape wasn't that curious about Draco's thoughts that he'd use occlumency to see who he was really thinking of. To him, the very idea alone of Draco masturbating and using his fingers in his ass, was probably more than enticing enough. Draco jerked violently when Snape shoved his leg between Draco's, rubbing at his crotch.

"_Hnh…!_ —

Draco couldn't help it; masturbating so much had made him very sensitive. Snape chuckled into Draco's ear, and Draco shuddered. The waves of pleasure were riding through his body, but not in the same way as when he thought of _him_. Snape kissed Draco's neck. Draco closed his eyes and gripped his hands into fists — shuddering yet again.

"_Ngh…—_

Draco tilted his head with a jerk as Snape's lips moved down his chest to his nipple. The sound of sucking sent another wave of pleasure through his body.

"_Ahn… hah—ah…AHN!— _He bit down on his fingers to stifle the moaning even a little. The sensations rolling down his spine, making him feel so hot all over. Draco shuddered and jerked as Snape kissed his way over his stomach where he stopped to un-zip Draco's pants. A wave of panic came over him—

"_N-No.. NO! I don't want tha…_" but he was cut short as Snape pulled off his underwear and grabbed his throbbing dick.

"Hm… but, you're already _like this…_" he said softly and kissed Draco's manhood making Draco jerk and tremble in pleasure.

"_No… NO… Don't! Ahn… AAAHH!"_ Draco's legs were about to giveway and he clutched to Snape's shoulders for support. He now stood bent over the professor, and he felt shocked over his own body. Was he really this lustful? This dirty? This revolting?

Snape chuckled as he took Draco's length in his mouth. The boy shuddered and whimpered as the professor used his tongue to tease the tip; and soon pre-cum was oozing from it. Snape happily used his finger to tease the head, smearing it in with the pre-cum. Using his other hand to pump the shaft.

"_AH! Ah~ AHH_!" Draco's voice echoed of the damp dungeon walls; filling the room. Draco felt disgusted that this was his voice. How could he react to this stimulation? He cursed himself. He leaned back against the wall before he slid down it, his knees giving in. With out meaning to, he began to buck his hips. Snape looked up at him form between the young boy's legs,

"My, my Draco. You're really lustful." The professor said teasingly. At these words Draco wanted to cry. To yell. To fight back! But the swiftly moving tongue of his professor got the better of him, and soon his mind went blank as the heat took over his body and mind.

"_AH! AH! AAHH_!" He was dangerously close. He bucked his hips to the steady rhythm of Snape's hand and mouth. The heat building somewhere in the pit of his stomach. The waves of electricity danced ferociously up and down his entire body. He was gasping for air, his mind had gone blank. He came in Snape's mouth; his exhausted body slumped down to the floor. The cold floor was shocking to his heated skin.

His face was flushed, panting, spasms for the orgasm still lingered in his body. Snape hovered over him. Draco gazed back though drowsy and weary eyes. Snape reached down one hand and rubbed his own crotch, he was breathing hard. He grabbed his wand and pointed it at Draco, who almost stopped breathing.

Snape then pulled down his own sipper and edged closer to Draco. Stepping over his knees and waist to sit down over his chest; Draco looked at the bulge with disgust, but at wand point he had no other choice as Snape pulled out his dick and pressed it, eagerly towards the boy's mouth. Draco opened reluctantly and the professor groaned as the head passed the lips through the small opening Draco had given him.

He pressed the wand tip into Draco's temple as he forcefully shoved his pulsing manhood into Draco's mouth; making the boy almost gag. Snape now thrust his hips, taking a hold of Draco's hair and holding it tight in his grip.

Draco shuddered, but he was too exhausted to resist, and what could he do when the professor had a wand to his head. Draco obeyed, and hurried to make the man come. After a little while his breathing increased, gasping after ragged breaths his desperation apparent as he thrust his hips more ferociously then Snape's body went rigid and he came, filling Draco's mouth with his semen. When Snape removed himself; Draco rolled to the side and spat out most of the semen. He felt sick and wanted to pour some strong soap down his throat. He gagged several times and coughed loudly.

Snape stood up nonchalantly, adjusting his pants and robes he used his wand to get rid of the mess. Silently Draco sat up and pulled his clothes around himself, not looking at the man. Snape stared at him; loosing patience he grabbed the boy under the arm and hoisted him up. Draco sniffed once before he quickly fixed his clothes and ran out the dungeon door.

He hurried down the corridor, luckily he didn't run into anyone and crept silently thought the common-room and to his dorm. Everyone else was sleeping, snoring loudly and grunting. Draco grabbed some new clothes and a towel and sped off in the direction of the showers. He felt filthy and terribly empty. The water splashed down over him as he leaned against the wall, his head hanging.

The next day Draco was acting obnoxious just to get people away from him. He felt so ashamed. It didn't help that he had a class later with the Gryffindors, he felt like he needed to throw up as he walked with falsely assured steps towards the classroom. He didn't notice the people running back and forth in the corridor and he hardly heard whatever it was Crabbe and Goyle were talking about.

His heart gave a jolt and it felt like blood turned to ice in his veins when he saw that black, scruffy hair in the crowd of people standing in front of the classroom door. He swallowed hard, but his throat was tied in a tight knot making that impossible. He tried to snap out of it, but his mind had one-tracked itself. But Harry Potter never looked his way.

When he entered the classroom he calmed down and reason seemed to slowly come back to him again. Of course Harry wouldn't look his way, he had no reason to. Harry hated him, and he was well aware of it. His heart clenching painfully he rubbed his chest as he sat down between Crabbe and Goyle, sending a glance to where the black haired boy was sitting between the weasel and that know-it-all muggle-borne before opening his book to the assigned page.

He looked up and could swear that for a second he met a pair of green eyes. He blinked but they were gone. He felt his pulse rise. Those beautiful eyes, how he loved them and wished that he could gaze into them. But still Draco felt stunned, had Harry really been looking in his direction? He heaved an internal sigh as hope flourished in his heart, filling his body with a warm fuzzy feeling.

As class ended he didn't even notice until Crabbe tapped him on the shoulder and asked what was wrong. His foul mood returned and he swept the leaving crowd only to realize that Harry had already left. He caught himself feeling disappointed and belated himself for the emotions that had filled him for the past hour. He felt _relieved_ seeing Harry Potter? He'd actually _sought_ him out and _wanted_ to be notice by him? Draco felt disgusted again, and pushed his way past Crabbe and Goyle and anyone else that stood in the way. For the rest of the day he was in a particularly bad mood and snapped at anyone who wasn't careful.

When he went to bed that night he punched his pillow once before throwing himself down mercilessly. He sighed and suddenly felt like crying. He tightened the grip he had around himself and blinked tears away as the last lights were put out around him. He got up, the floor cold underneath his bare feet. He slowly walked over to the door and pushed it open, sneaking out and closing the door behind him just as the first snore filled the room.

He scurried along to the now empty common-room: the fireplace was still burning; it's flames dancing filling the cold dungeon room with heat. He sat down in the lonely chair right in front of the fire and gazed into it letting his mind get overwhelmed with the thoughts that had been haunting him lately. Did he really have feelings for Harry Potter? And was it really love? It could be just hate. But the moment the thought Harry and hate danced in his mind he knew that wasn't it. He sighed again, and that painful throbbing in his abdomen started again , the thought of Snape over him made him want to hurl. He shook his head and tapped his hands on the armrests of the chair before getting up and returning to the dorm. Where he quietly lay down and fell into an uneasy sleep.


End file.
